Archive | March 2016

I Choose Me

I Choose Me

I choose me.  This realization speaks for itself. There have been several circumstances recently where I have felt someone appeared to BE putting me in a circumstance that felt like it would not BE in my best interest.  Nothing physically dangerous, but perhaps dangerous to my emotional well BEing.  So in each instance I said no thank you.  I have to admit that each time I continue to do that I feel so empowered.  My confidence flows because I realize that my own well BEing is just as important (if not more so, it is my well BEing after all) as the other person.  I BElieve people can come to a mutual compromise, but should that compromise have to have one or the other person feeling like they have lost in some way?  I don’t BElieve that has to BE the case.

But the thing is, each time I have said no to a particular thing that is BEing asked of me, the person goes back, re-thinks and comes back with a different idea.  One that does work for me (all of the parties involved really).  The compromise does not seem like it is geared to just the needs of the other party or parties involved. Which then makes me question the intent behind the original scenario given.

I AM standing strong in my own power, recognizing the power of my choices. I Choose Me.  A simple statement with a powerful intent.

The Divine Masculine

divine masculine 1

The last few days as I reflect, something keeps coming to the forefront of my mind.  The Divine Masculine.  I have also been sitting with the beauty of three males in my life who have made such a lasting impact.  Though I know the Divine Masculine is not gender specific, it just so happens, in this case, they happen to BE male.

The first is my amazing son.  From the moment he was born (and before) we have had a bond that is hard to put into words.  From the very beginning, the Love that has radiated from his heart always touched me to my core.  I have to admit when I was younger, I had put up walls around my heart, but he was the one soul who the love in my heart truly over flowed pass the walls I had erected.  We have gone through life supporting each other (yes, that old soul was always present) and knowing we had each others back.  My ex (God rest his soul) sometimes felt excluded from this bond.  As he grew up, I noticed some of the circumstances in his life made him start to also put a few walls up, but never between us.  But now, in this present moment, I see him stepping more and more into his warrior spirit.  He has his own gifts (though he is still in some resistance to them) that I have always encouraged because I was determined he would BE supported in this aspect of his self.

The second is a man I have been friends with for many, many years.  From the beginning there was always a feeling of BEing comfortable in his presence.  Through the many years we have known each other, I have never felt judged by him, he always was there, supporting me in whatever way needed.  I have told him I know we were meant to take this journey together.  I have seen his growth from a DOer, to opening up more into his feelings, opening his heart and learning to just BE.  He is a place of safety for me.

Last, but certainly not least, is my Beloved twin flame.  Since we physically met I always saw the purity in his heart.  He has accelerated my growth in ways I cannot even put into words, showing me the way to Wholeness.  I realize now that his spirit had always been leaving “bread crumbs” for me even before we met physically.   The beauty within (and without) this man takes my breath away.  They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and when I look in his eyes I see eternity.  A vastness that seems endless, there are no words to truly describe it.  He too had many, many walls in place, but each time we connect, I see his continued growth as well.  Even with the walls, they could never hide the Love that he is.  I could feel it, it is sublime.

So for me, these three beautiful souls, representing the Divine Masculine, are to me clear examples of the healing and wholing that is taking place for the Divine Masculine.  Do not doubt that balance is taking place between the masculine and the feminine, inner as well as outer.   Everything is truly in Divine Order.


Mystic Musings

mystic musings

This past week has been quite the roller coaster ride.  I was dealing with a health issues on Monday of last week, but on Tuesday was told by Spirit I was experiencing a reset.  I feel okay for the most part now.  People around me are experiencing different forms of illness, but most are not ready to hear about the energetic reasons for what they are experiencing.  So I just continue to observe and make note of the explanations Spirit shares with me.  Maybe I AM not suppose to share at this time, merely observe the internal shifts that others are experiencing.

The emotions I experienced this past weekend were also amazing.  The love that was radiating from my heart on Friday and Saturday felt so beautiful.  Last night before bed I felt a wave of such sadness in my heart, it felt very much like one would experience through grief.  All I could do was release this energy through tears, and breathe through the sensation until it was gone.  But I realize even with this feeling of sadness, it bought home to me the beauty of allowing our emotions to flow as needed.  Not to judge, or even necessarily try to give it a reason why it is happening, merely allow the feeling to flow and release.

So much seems to BE happening and information coming through, some of which I don’t fully understand at this time.  All I can do is make a note of it and know that the understanding will come in Divine timing. In the meantime, I trust that I AM guided  and loved.


Spiders and a Web – Life in Creation


A couple of days ago I was taking a nap on my couch.  When I opened my eyes I saw a spider crawling on the pillow in front of me.  I blinked and the spider was gone.  Oh, I was still in the in-between state.  Last night, I was again waking up from a nap and on my ceiling was another spider building a large web.  Once again, I was still in the in-between state so once I blinked the vision was gone.  Then the words the web of life popped in my mind.  There is a book by Fritjof Capra with this title.  I did not know this until I was doing some research last night.  Here is a brief description:

In The Web of Life, Capra takes yet another giant step, setting forth a new scientific language to describe interrelationships and interdependence of psychological, biological, physical, social, and cultural phenomena–the “web of life.”  During the past twenty-five years, scientists have challenged conventional views of evolution and the organization of living systems and have developed new theories with revolutionary philosophical and social implications. Fritjof Capra has been at the forefront of this revolution. In The Web of Life, Capra offers a brilliant synthesis of such recent scientific breakthroughs as the theory of complexity, Gaia theory, chaos theory, and other explanations of the properties of organisms, social systems, and ecosystems. Capra’s surprising findings stand in stark contrast to accepted paradigms of mechanism and Darwinism and provide an extraordinary new foundation for ecological policies that will allow us to build and sustain communities without diminishing the opportunities for future generations.

This is not the first time I have been visited by spiders.  Since I became consciously aware of my journey they have visited me via visions quite often.  They have been different sizes as well as colors (red, black, white, turquoise, yellow).  I believe it is one of my power animals.  Spiders represent the weavers of life for me.  This our BEing weaved together in my life as well as the bigger picture that is happening in the NOW moment.  The funny thing is I recently purchased a ring of a spider sitting on its web.  Loving the synchronicities!  The below meaning resonates for me at this time:

The spider is a remarkable figure of feminine energy and creativity in the spirit animal kingdom. Spiders are characterized by the skilled weaving of intricate webs and patience in awaiting their prey. By affinity with the spider spirit animal, you may have qualities of high receptivity and creativity. Having the spider as a power animal or totem helps you tune into life’s ebbs and flows and ingeniously weave every step of your destiny.

The fact that this has come to me at the time of the full moon/lunar eclipse is not lost to me.  I AM  in the ebb and flow of life and I AM incredibly excited for all the change that is taking place.  The weaving together of the spiritual and the physical.  So much BEing reflected from the inner to the outer world.



Two nights ago the number 1010157 popped into my mind as I slept.  As tired as I was I got up to write it down so I wouldn’t forget.  As I was thinking about this number today I thought the 10101 seemed like binary code.  I went to the internet and was guided to a site that said this breaks down to the number 21.  So now the number is 2157.  As I continued to BE guided in my search I came across this when I typed in the meaning of the number 5, The number 5 symbolizes God’s grace.  I immediately felt such a strong resonance to this sentence.  When I looked up the meaning of the number 7, this meaning practically felt like it jumped off the page at me.  The number 7 is the seeker, the thinker, the searcher of Truth (notice the capital “T”). The 7 doesn’t take anything at face value — it is always trying to understand the underlying, hidden truths. The 7 knows that nothing is exactly as it seems and that reality is often hidden behind illusions.

A few weeks ago I heard the following words, the power of two becoming One.  When I looked at the number 21 I was reminded of these words I received.  So when I put it all together it is “The power of two becoming One, through God’s Grace with nothing BEing exactly as it seems  and reality is often hidden behind illusions”.    I also found the below picture in reference to DNA and the piece of information that resonated with me.

The very program of life itself—the DNA molecule—contains the ‘Golden Ratio’.One revolution of the double helix measures 34 angstroms while the width is 21 angstroms. The ratio 34/21 reflects ‘Phi’, 34 divided by 21 equals 1.619… a close approximation of ‘Phi’s’ 1.618.


Notice the measurement mentioned of 21.  Aside from the fact that 2 +1 =3 (the Trinity).  I AM sure I AM only scratching the surface of the deeper meaning of all of this, there appears to almost BE layers upon layers of meaning.  Once again, I AM in awe.




Through the Eyes of Spirit

through the eyes of spirit

I AM BEing nudged to expand my vision (perception) of what is occurring around me.  To view these occurrences through the eyes of Spirit.  I AM given glimpses of the deeper meaning.  With this deeper understanding Spirit says all is not as it seems.  I AM bearing witness to the fear based beliefs that are playing out for others.  There is so much anger, sadness and confusion.  The masks are slipping.  Others are not able to cover their internal fears as easily anymore.  Which in turn only increases the fear vibration as they worry how much of themselves is BEing witnessed.  People are lashing out, or seeming to fall into depression, or their demeanor feels as though they feel very lost and alone.   I have to admit my nervous system has been on overload the last few days as my energetic sensitivities are on high alert.

I know this is serving a purpose, keeping me aware so that I may move into compassion and not take things personally.  Is this an easy task?  Not always.  But as I AM able to observe through the eyes of Spirit, my heart does open up with compassion.  But with this information comes the need for more time alone to sit with my own energy.  But my purpose here is to BE of service, in whatever way that may show up in my world.

Reclaiming Your Authentic Power

Authentic Power.png

I almost did it.  I almost allowed myself to be pulled into another person’s drama.  Phew, close call.  I was allowing myself to be pulled off-center and reacting to a situation, instead of staying centered in my BEing and responding.  There I was, about to hand my personal power over to someone else.  These things happen, after all we are living a human experience.  I AM glad I recognized it before I was pulled into drama that did not even belong to me.

We may not have any control over the scenarios that are BEing played out around us, but we do have control over how we respond to those scenarios.  That is standing in our authentic power.  I know the choice I made to disengage was the right one for me because today I feel light and happy as opposed to feeling off-kilter, frustrated and angry like I was yesterday.  I haven’t experienced that feeling in a long time, but like the layers of an onion, sometimes a situation will appear that seems similar to an experience you have already had.  You then have the question haven’t I already dealt with this?  Perhaps.  But this new situation is giving you the opportunity to see just how well you are embodying all that you are learning and healing within yourself.  A deeper layer of understanding.  I AM grateful for the opportunity for this deeper integration.

As I step more and more fully into my authentic power, the need to please others and seeking the approval of others is no longer there.  We are all sovereign BEings, powerful in our own right.  Remember that.




Be Aware of Your Own Light

spiritual light

I have had another deep internal shift.  With this shift I AM observing how others are reacting to my Light.  What does that mean?  The reaction to my vibratory frequency.  I AM noticing when some people are in a conversation with me they automatically reach out and touch me, whether on the arm or shoulder.  It seems as they are not even aware of this.  I AM also experiencing others who almost appear clingy.  This is not in judgement but in observation.  I have been asked why they haven’t heard from me, why haven’t I called, perhaps I AM triggering their feelings of past abandonment, so they are experiencing what appears to BE my lack of communication as they are some how losing me.  Last but not least, I have even experienced others appearing to react to me in a very verbally aggressive manner.  Let me just say the energy behind those encounters is not pleasant!

But with these experiences I have to remind myself not to take it personally, for they are not reacting to me due to personal reasons, though it may appear that way.  They are in fact reacting to the way my vibratory frequency is triggering their own inner wounds.  So for those who are drawn to the Love that I AM radiating it appears positive, those who, on a deep subconscious level, are not yet experiencing their own self – Love are having a very different experience.

I have no control over how others react to me, as I can only continue to BE the Love that I AM.  But I can hold those who have not yet remembered their own state of BEing Love in a place of  deep compassion.  All on this journey must go at their own pace.

An Ethereal Visitor

ethereal dress

Sunday night I had dream (but it felt as though I was more in the in-between state) where a beautiful woman came walking down a staircase wearing a dress very similar to the picture of this post.  She said her name was Dazz.  She started to speak to me regarding information about hierarchy, but not in the way we understand the meaning of the word hierarchy.  That there is natural order in Creation.  She also begin to speak about the mis-use of power.   I tried very hard to remember the actual words she spoke to me when I woke up to try and write them down, but I was only left with the general knowledge of speaking about these subjects.

I pulled a few tarot cards a couple of times in the last week and two cards I pulled on each occasion was the same.  One card was I must do things in my own rhythm.  That basically I will know how things move along for me and not how others feel they should Be.  The second card was that I not Be overly concerned about how others perceive me as it may BE over shadowed by their own beliefs, so that they may not BE seeing the true me. I have been experiencing this in my physical world.

Things are just feeling very expansive to me right now.  I don’t even know how to really describe the way I AM feeling at this time.  I AM sure things will BEcome clearer in time.